Batteries R Us.

Picture 1

“Charge!” no longer means riding your horse with armor,  spear and full beard into battle against the neighboring clan…like Wisconsin. Especially if you’re a Norseman living west of the meat-packers.  The Mississippi is akin to the liquid-version of the China Wall that keep’s the packer’s from heaving Bratwurst’s at the Norski clan.  And the Norski’s from lobbing room-temperature Lutefisk in return.

“Charge!” today means to plug-in the Phone, iPod, GPS, Camera, WiFi Jetpack, Laptop, Hybrid, Pacemaker,  Electric socks, Flashlight,  Bicycle electric motor, Portable battery charger (charge the battery that charges the battery), and re-charge your Wall Mart gift card.

The earth would cease to exist if the sun was not charging it.  All free of charge.  And its only lost 2% of its original energy since the beginning of time.   The energy of the sunlight supports almost all life on Earth by photosynthesis.  Meaning it takes pictures and processes them to.  And yes the Sun has a built-in flash.

Only burned 2%?  How do I know about such things you ask?  Well stare at the Sun for five minutes with toothpicks holding your lids wide-open and you’ll only be 98% blind.  Ask the blind guy to try it out first for R&D.  He might regain his sight.  Who’s to know?

We need to plug into the sun.  Can’t we send some proto-nerd to run an extension cable up there and give it the three-prong jab?  Yea I know, it’s a one-way ticket.   Forget the archaic cremation (station) mortuary.  Send mothballed space-shuttles on autopilot loaded full of stiff’s to the Sun.  Those ashes spread over the cosmos is much more poetic than throwing them out the window of your Ford Escort while driving down the Interstate.

Solar energy still uses the sun to keep charging batteries that power your batteries.  So I may start wearing a baseball-cap-mounted-solar-panel to charge all my personal devices and fan the perspiring brow on hot Montana summer days.  Those western cowboy hats could have a panel mounted on all four sides.  You may not see the cowboy pirouette (French for “Spinning top”) at a rodeo, but the sun would still find their hats and give the bull he’s riding a jolt.

Montana has a lot of sunny days.  Perfect for solar panels that flush you toilet, burn the toast, power-the-shower, and walk the dog.  If you live in Seattle, probably should keep the umbrella over your beanie, and pay your electric bill.  Mini hydro-electric dams in your backyard may be the ticket.

Well maybe its time for a battery sabbatical, or fasting.  Meaning sans-batteries for a week?

No cell phone, car, TV remote, computer, flashlight, pacemaker, fire-detector, garage door opener, bark collar, or golf cart.  Just the pure Sun to charge our days and illuminate our steps.

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About miningtheword

I'm an artist, hack-writer, musician, bicyclist, runner, father, and husband, living the life in Montana. Always enjoying the Big Sky and hopefully making someone smile, think, laugh, ponder, curse and enjoy the days we've been given on earth. Why? Because nobody gets out alive.
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